Marriage is hard work. Courtship rituals can be hard too!
At a BTS performance, April and Jake had first met. Although none of them was a fan of the band, they had both gone with friends who belonged to the band’s ARMY, or fan club. During the intermission between the songs Butter and Dynamite, their eyes had locked. Her pale blue oval eyes had caught his hazel monolid eyes’ attention, and he had said:
‘Hi. Are you a fan of K-Pop?’
‘No, not really. My friend is a fan.’
“Now there are two of us,” Both of them had a smile.
He had greeted everyone and extended his hand. Likewise, she had grabbed his hand in hers. And that is how they had first connected and exchanged numbers. They started dating in the windy city when they discovered they were both single. Their dates led them to a variety of locations, including coffee shops, museums, restaurants, and movie theatres. Wakanda Forever, the Black Panther sequel, was their shared favourite. Boseman was the lead in the first film, they both agreed that his demise hurt the sequel. As they discussed various endings for movies, they delightedly realised they shared a sense of humour.
After only a few weeks of dating, they had become inseparable.
Their mutual acquaintances gave their relationship their blessing, and a few months later, they met up with each other’s parents. Their connection had reached a whole new level because of each parent’s acceptance. Jake and April met in June, so April had anticipated a Christmas engagement. But no proposal materialised before Christmas. While April waited another six months, they shared birthdays, and on the first anniversary of their union, April posed the following question to Jake:
What stage of our relationship would you say we are in exactly?
‘I can definitely picture myself living with you. I’d like to have more money savings and look out for our family’s needs better.’
‘I appreciate the way you say our family.‘ How many children would you like?
‘I’m not sure. How many did you wish to have?‘
‘Two. You can teach a boy baseball, and I can teach a girl soccer.
Wow, you really thought this through.
Yeah, I’m sure I’ll be a great mother. And you’ll be a fantastic father.
‘Yeah,’
According to April, she always got what she wanted. Jake looked uneasy but said nothing. April had overlooked the tiny shift in his demeanour. By the time of their anniversary, April sensed Jake separating from her. Or was it all in her head? She questioned. Should she make a suggestion to live in his apartment?
Both of them had been working long hours throughout the spring. They had returned to their regular work schedules by fall season. That was when April asked,
‘Jake, I was considering possibly moving into your apartment.’
‘How about Christmas, hmm?’
She would later regret not giving Jake the chance to think things through. Instead, she discovered herself delivering him a command:
‘Show me your commitment, let me move in next week, or we’re finished,’
She was able to sense Jake’s pain. She even wanted to soothe him by reaching out. But she refrained. Jake claimed that he needed some time to consider it. He returned by himself.
He called after a rough twenty-four hours. April hadn’t eaten much and had chewed off the ends of all her nails.
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t more enthusiastic about you moving in. By the end of the month, I hope to have the place ready.’
‘Yes, anything for you,’ she replied. She sobbed on her bed after he kept the phone, her body shaking with relief.
A few weeks later, she made her way to his house with an extra suitcase filled with the items she had chosen for her big move, including new clothing, lingerie, fragrances, and cosmetics. She took care to always appear her best. Jake had, however, undergone a shift. He wasn’t as affectionate, in April’s opinion, as he formerly was. She made an attempt to discuss it with Jake, but he refused, claiming he had never lived with a woman before. She talked about this with her pals after Jake left for work. They advised talking to him and finding out what bothered him.
‘He still says he never lived with a woman!’ said a flustered April.
Finally, it was her mom that offered some helpful advice.
‘I don’t believe that saving money is the reason he’s delaying committing to the wedding. That’s his excuse. Perhaps he doesn’t see you as wife material yet. Help him be upfront about it. A relationship cannot work when one person is not communicating. To marry is to share everything important.’
Jake and April’s marriage was something April had assumed would be inevitable. She wasn’t so sure anymore. Now she understood how challenging unions can be. Healthy relationships foster mutual growth. Right? Jake needed to mature quickly, take on more responsibilities, and communicate with her so that she could be a better companion to him.
Jake had a terrible sense of guilt. He didn’t think highly of himself. Whatever the case, he couldn’t bring himself to break her heart. He was great friends with April, and they were romantically involved. However, his interactions with April esp. after their first year together had rung some alarm bells within him, bells he never knew existed. When he was with April, everything revolved around her.
Even though he believed himself to be the person with greater flexibility, he had a limit. He felt as though he was being repressed and was incapable of further growth. He did not, however, wish to confront her or risk breaking her heart.
Several weeks later, he met Rae, another woman. Although Jake hated abandoning April, every interaction with Rae felt more meaningful than his conversations with April. Rae, in Jake’s opinion, was a woman he could marry. He was perplexed. Although he had just recently met her, he had discovered someone with whom he had a stronger connection. What about April, then? They’d been together for over a year and a half!
It had been quick to fall in love with Jake. But after two months, Rae was still quite confused.. Despite their closeness, she felt Jake was concealing something. She sensed hesitation in Jake. He stayed silent when asked what was bothering him. She confided in her friends after a few more weeks went by with no response, and they all told her she deserved better.
If the love is real, people always come around. Wouldn’t they? To see how committed he was, April offered Jake yet another deadline. She was certain he would propose to her. Jake didn’t make a proposal for a week. It had the opposite effect, Jake spent less time with her. She found herself irritable, anxious and losing interest in her other activities.
It appears like you are no longer paying attention to me. She asked, “Where is the person I fell in love with?” Jake remained silent.
“Do you still care about me?” Do you wish to wed me? Jake remained silent.
She was at a loss for words or actions. Soon she developed symptom of depression. Her mother convinced her to break up with Jake in order to better protect her.
Two weeks later, April broke up with Jake.
Jake was so overcome with regret that he remained inside his flat for the following week. He also didn’t call Rae. To get his heartache better, he needed some solitude.
A few weeks later, he spoke with Rae and explained the circumstances. When Rae found out that Jake had another relationship going on, she was crushed. For several months, he had cheated on both her and his ex-girlfriend.
Is he the kind of husband she could rely on to start a family? Her body began to ring alarm bells, alerting her to the danger. Was she treating him unfairly? After all, he had dumped April for her. She talked to her friends and considered her future with Jake during the remainder of the week.
She broke up with Jake a week later.
Rae married her new love after a year of dating. April also met a partner who desired a family, and two years later they were wed. After two years of courting, Jake finally found the woman of his dreams and got married. Jake thought about calling April and Rae just to say hi, but ultimately made the decision not to.